Thought yall might get a chuckle out of this;
The House Behind The House
One of my fondest memories
As I recall the days of yore
Was the little house, behind the house,
With the crescent o'er the door.
'Twas a place to sit and ponder
With your head all bowed down low;
Knowing that you wouldn't be there,
If you didn't have to go.
Ours was a multi-holer, three,
With a size for every one.
You left there feeling better,
After your job was done.
You had to make those frequent trips
In snow, rain, sleet, or fog--
To that little house where you usually
Found the Sears catalog.
Oft times in dead of winter,
The seat was spread with snow.
Twas then with much reluctance,
To that little house you'd go.
With a swish you'd clear that wooden seat,
Bend low, with dreadful fear
You'd shut your eyes and grit your teeth
As you settled on your rear.
I recall the day Ol' Granddad,
Who stayed with us one summer,
Made a trip out to that little house
Which proved to be a bummer.
'Twas the same day that my Dad had
Finished painting the kitchen green.
He'd just cleaned up the mess he'd made
With rags and gasoline.
He tossed the rags down in the hole
Went on his usual way
Not knowing that by doing so
He'd eventually rue the day.
Now Granddad had an urgent call,
I never will forget!
This trip he made to the little house
Stays in my memory yet.
He sat down on the wooden seat,
With both feet on the floor.
He filled his pipe and tapped it down
And struck a match on the outhouse door.
He lit the pipe and sure enough,
It soon began to glow.
He slowly raised his rear a bit
And tossed the flaming match below.
The Blast that followed, I am told
Was heard for miles around;
And there was poor ol' Granddad
Sprawled out there on the ground.
The smoldering pipe still in his mouth,
His eyes were shut real tight;
The celebrated three- holer
Was blown clear out of sight.
We asked him what had happened,
What he said I'll ne'er forget.
He said he thought it must have been
The pinto beans he et !
Next day we had a new one
Dad put it up with ease.
But this one had a door sign
That read: No Smoking, Please
Now that's the story's end my friend,
Of memories long ago,
When we went to the house behind the house,
Because we had to go.
For those who never had to trot out in the Cold...
Just Give Thanks!
I remember when I went to college and for the first time did not have to make the trek to the outhouse! When one of the scholarship black athletes started regailing me about life in the GHET TOW and the cold water walk up when growing up. I quietly did some educating and offered him a plate at the family dinner for Christmas so he could understand the difference. He declined but he never talked S---t to me again. Nothing is a more breathtaking moment then sitting down at literally -40F within five miles of where Saskatchewan and Manitoba meet!
The positive is that I saw the Northern lights hundreds of times. You learn the stars. And it is always a one upper story. Anyone know what knocking off the peak means?
Nice, GFS!
I have a fondness for outhouses. Grew up with one at the family cabin. I remember skipping down the forested path, lined with expired snowmobile treads, flashlight beam bouncing off the trees. 2 holer. One signed for "lil butts" so Dad or Mom could accompany a little one and get the job done in one sitting. No waiting.
Lots of funny outhouse memories....hiding in there smoking cigarettes as a teen, the time a critter fell in the hole and we had to put it out of its misery, hiding behind it in the dark to scare the next visitor. Ha!
Thanks for the trip down memory lane.
Those ol wasps will make you run with your britches down to your knees.
Enjoyed it.
Jim
The folks who let me hunt antelope on their place have an outhouse down by the machine shop and it gets used by any camping hunters. One night I had just dropped trou and was starting to sit when a critter came out of the hole between my legs and started doing laps around the outhouse! I got the door open and it turned out to be a cat, but I was now fully awake and no longer had to go!
Vance.... :lau: :lau:
best laugh I've had in years. just the 10 changing scenarios in my head made it wonderful
jay
To tell the truth I preferred them in the winter... they smelled much better... Also, if you take the seat in the house and hang it on the wall and take it with you when you go, it's still cold, but it's not -40 F anymore...