The story is told about a southern Preacherman who was sermonizing to his congregation: "All those who want to go to heaven, raise your hands!"
Everyone saluted but one fellow named John in the back row.
The preacher raised an eyebrow and challenged him: "What's the matter, John? Don't you want to go straight to heaven when you die?"
"I sure do, Reverend," came the reply.
"Then why didn't you raise your hand?"
"I was afraid you were gettin' up a party to leave right away..."
--Dave Berg, My Friend God
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