I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with
the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
You didn't really have to convert...
"And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death."--Leviticus 20:10