I was drinking a margarita and the waitress screamed "does anyone know CPR?"
I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet" and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except this one guy.
Customer: "Could i have a margarita with light ice?"
Bartender: "I'm sorry, but all our ice weighs the same."
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat. Before he gets to order a his food, the bowl of tortilla chips in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."
The man tries to ignore the chips and orders a margarita. The chips say, "Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You're a very smart man."
Starting to freak out, the guy screams to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to me!!"
Waiter says, "Don't worry about it, the tortilla chips are complimentary."