Cop story

[BruinnieBear]

THE TORONTO POLICE OFFICER.......stopped a driver for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.

The "Motorist" instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation , etc., in rather explicit terms.

The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.

When he gets done with writing the ticket, he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket.

He then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature.

The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands
for.

The cop says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an Ass****!"

Two months later they're in court.

The "Violator" has such a bad driving record he is about to lose his license and has hired a lawyer to represent him.

On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light.

Under cross examination the defense attorney asks: "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket you issued my client?"

Officer responds, "Yes sir, that is the defendants copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.

Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"

Officer: "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."

Lawyer: "What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"

Officer: "Aggressive and Hostile Sir."

Lawyer: "Aggressive and Hostile?"

Officer: "Yes Sir?

Lawyer: "Officer, Are you sure it doesn't stand for Ass****?"

Officer: "Well Sir, You know your client better than I do!"

[JP]

 :evil: X:X X:X X:X


...JP

[1reb]

 :evil:

[JsHoney]

I must say that's a good one. Laugh so hard now look at my hair  :mrgreen: it standing on end.

[bee-nuts]

Not bad.

How about this one.



A doctor gets done with work and heads home.

As usual he takes his normal route home speeding as usual through an area that has a speed limit of 45 for no apparent reason.

When he reached bridge on his route home he was greeted on the other end by a set of flashing blue and red lights.

He pulled over shaking his head.  Ugh, 50 in a 45 what a jerk he thought.

The cop walked up to the window seeing the doctors ID tag still pined to his shirt.

Cop:   Sir do you know why I pulled you over.

Doc:   Yes sir, for doing 50 in a place that is posted 45 for absolutely no reason.

Cop:   That may be sir, but the law is the law.

Doc:   Officer, cant you use some discretion.

Cop:   I wont make my quota being mister reasonable.  I will be back as soon as I can with your citation, Doctor... Pause

Doc:   Doctor Smith

Cop:   Ill be back as soon as I can Doctor smith so you can get on with your day.  By the way, what kind of doctor are you?

Doc:   I'm a rectal enlargement specialist.

Cop:   Oh, I see.

When the officer returned he gave the doctor his citation and explained when the court date was and all the normal crap to goes with a speeding ticket.  Then because curiosity got the best of him, he asked

Cop:   By the way doctor ,what exactly does a rectal enlargement specialist do?

Doc:   Well, we take an average rectum and then using the latest state of the art medical equipment  we slowly stretch them larger and larger and larger still until they are about this big.  The doctor held up his hands and made a circle about the size of a basketball.

Cop:   Really! Hmm.  What on earth would you do with that big of an ***hole?

Doc:   You give em a radar gun and stick em at the end of a bridge!!