Old folks and their problems

Started by iddee, September 11, 2010, 07:51:59 PM

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iddee

September 11, 2010, 07:51:59 PM
OLD people have problems that you haven't 
Even considered yet!   


       
An 85-year-old man was requested by his   
Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical 
Exam. 

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take 
This jar home and bring back a semen sample 
  Tomorrow.'   

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared 
  At the doctor's office and gave him the jar, 
  Which was as clean and empty as on the   
  Previous day.   

The doctor asked what happened and the man 
  Explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried 
  With my right hand, but nothing.  Then I tried 
  With my left hand, but still nothing.   

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with 
  Her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.   
  She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
  Then with her teeth out, still nothing.   

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door 
  And she tried too, first with both hands, then an 
  Armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between 
  Her knees, but still nothing.' 

The doctor was shocked! 

'You asked your neighbor?'     
     
The old man replied,

'Yep, none of us could get   the jar open.'

               
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

G3farms

#1
September 11, 2010, 08:51:13 PM
They must be little Johnny's grand parents :lau: :lau: :lau:
those hot bees will have you steppin and a fetchin like your heads on fire and your keister is a catchin!!!

Bees will be bees and do as they please!

AllenF

#2
September 11, 2010, 11:56:33 PM
Funnnny.

hardwood

#3
September 11, 2010, 11:57:32 PM
 :lau: :lau: :lau:
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907

annette

#4
September 13, 2010, 03:12:34 AM
 :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau:
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