Al-Gebra member caught boarding plane...

Started by Michael Bush, July 06, 2015, 10:00:14 AM

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Michael Bush

**TEACHER ARRESTED IN NEW YORK -** A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-Gebra is a problem for us", the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values." They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle". When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physiques will follow.
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"Everything works if you let it."--James "Big Boy" Medlin

iddee

Best one in awhile. I'll have to steal it.
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

BeeMaster2

Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.
Ben Franklin

Switchback

"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking." J. C. Watts

GSF

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you - then you know your nation is doomed.