NATIONAL TILE DAY

[Michael Bush]

A man calls a tiler ... (old East Germany joke)
... "Hi! I'd like some bathroom tiles repaired please. When can you come?"
Tiler: "Next appointment is in 8 years."
Man: "Oh, OK, I take it."
Tiler: "Morning or Afternoon?"

I forgot my phone when I went to the toilet this morning.
We have 368 tiles.

Some thieves stole all the tiles on top of my house
Roofless

I once met a lizard who was a door-to-door pottery salesman
He could really rep tile

What did the bishop say after they redid the vestibule with black and white tiles?
"It looks nice but now I can only enter and exit diagonally "

What's a manager's favorite type of tile?
Versatile.

I had to leave my job at the ceramics factory when they introduced the new equestrian range.
It was turning into a horse tile work environment.

I used to be a tile guy......
It was a lot of trowel and error.

I hired a monk to redo my bathroom floors, and he put me under an immense amount of pressure.
It was tile by friar.

After achieving universal peace, the Guardians of the Galaxy settled down and opened a floor tile business.
I Am Grout

How many lawyers does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thinly you slice them

What do you call a guy who specializes in tile floors?
Tyler

Local theater director has lined the stage with Scrabble tiles so he can have a play on words.

Got some flooring that can be used in kitchens, bathrooms, and even on walls.
They are versa tiles.

Got some free roof tiles the other day.
They were on the house.

Was going to use pictures of apples, peaches and oranges as flooring in the kitchen, then I realized it was fruit-tile.

Started a new job as a roofer but spilled my coffee all over the tiles. The boss says it?s ok, I can wipe the slate clean.

Went to the DIY shop the other week and asked in which section I could find hammers, bricks and tiles. The chap said they were under Construction. I asked when they would be finished?