Living in PA

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The rules of rural Pennsylvania are as follows:
1. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'dirt road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
2. They are cattle. They're live steaks or walking milk bottles. That's why they smell funny to you, get over it. Don't like it? I80- goes east and west, I-81 goes north and south. Pick one.
3. Pull your droopy pants up, you look like an idiot.
4. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
5. So you have a $60,000 car, we're impressed.
We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in rural Pennsylvania waves. We think of it as being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and three doe are coming in, we will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat scrapple, pot pie, funnel cakes, haluskie, pierogies, shoo-fly pie, apple butter, chow-chow, and schnitz un knepp. Don't like the sound of them or the names freak you out because you never saw a "Bon Appetit" article on them? Great, more for us!
9. The 'opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held on the 2nd Saturday after Columbus Day.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu.
Order steak, or you can order the chef's salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats
(includes fish), vegetables, and breads. We use four spices: salt, pepper, hot sauce, and Heinz ketchup.
Oh, yeah...we don't care what you folks in Jersey call that stuff you eat. It's not real chili.
13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.
14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, and have long hair.
(Actually there is a candy bar called "Mary Jane." It's sections of taffee with a peanut butter filling in the middle of each section.)
15. College and highschool football are as important here as the Steelers and Eagles and a lot more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards---it spooks the fish.
17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have state universities, community colleges, and vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and Country.
They still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays.
18. We have a whole ton of folks who have been in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard - PA has one of the highest percentages of veterans in the entire country. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump-thump stuff is not music anyway. We don't want to hear it any more than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to # 3.
(Unfortunately we do hear the thumpity thump stuff.)
20. Four inches isn't a blizzard--it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense, and don't take all our bread, milk, and toilet paper from the grocery stores. You're not in Alaska. Worst case you may have to live a whole day without your croissants. The pickups with snow plows will have you out the next day.
A true Pennsylvanian will send this on to others. Everyone else can leave town.

[Dallasbeek]

Only been in Pennsylvania a few times, but sounds like home to me

[Michael Bush]

Sounds like any small town in America...

[Eric Bosworth]

It sounds like any northern town in America... But the last thing about the snow.... The school that always closes first in bad weather on Binghamton radio stations is from PA not New Yuk...

[Michael Bush]

They closed the schools one day for cold here.  It was like -20 F and the wind was howling so the wind chill was much colder.  The local morning radio show decided to call the school superintendent some little village in Alaska and ask how cold the wind chill had to be for them to cancel school.  First he had no idea what "wild chill" was.  Second, they never canceled school for cold or snow.  In Wyoming the only time I ever saw them cancel school was when it was -40 F and the buses wouldn't start... never for snow...

[Eric Bosworth]

When I was a kid they didn't close school for anything less than 6" of snow... unless it was freezing rain. 25 degrees and rain is the worst weather possible... with the exception of a tornado or hurricane I suppose. Now they close school or delay it for almost anything. It is pretty ridiculous but administrators don't want to deal with parents who seem to think that an inch of snow is a snow storm. That said Wayne Highland seems to close when there are flurries.

[iddee]

You should live in NC. I have seen them close schools here because of the forecast. No precipitation at all.

[Michael Bush]

Yes, but an inch of snow in NC will cause 600 accidents in the first hour of rush hour...

[iddee]

Your only mistake, MB, is it don't have to be rush hour.   

[BeeMaster2]

Down here in N FL they close all of the bridges, 7 of them, for days. It is a good thing I work on the same side of the river as my home. People do get blocked from going home.
Jim