Love-making tips for Seniors...

Started by BeeMaster2, April 26, 2015, 02:29:45 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

BeeMaster2


1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for three minutes, in case
you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner?s name on your hand in case you can?t remember...

6.  Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol or whatever else that you use ready in case you actually complete the act...

8. Make all the noise you want... The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news ... even if its 8 p.m.!

10.  Don't even think about trying it twice.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, ?Let?s go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, ?Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you?re barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the  doctor instead of by the police.


'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action? means you don't need to take a laxative today.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
?Getting lucky? means you find your car in the parking lot...


'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter? means not getting up to use the bathroom.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes. 

      (I sent this in larger type so you can read it better.)

Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.
Ben Franklin

iddee

I still had to use bifocals to read it, but I'm stealing it anyway.
Thanks
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

tefer2


Switchback

"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking." J. C. Watts

qa33010

HAHA!!!  Gotta show this to the wife!
Everyone said it couldn't be done. But he with a chuckle replied, "I won't be one to say it is so, until I give it a try."  So he buckled right in with a trace of a grin.  If he had a worry he hid it and he started to sing as he tackled that thing that couldn't be done, and he did it.  (unknown)