Mentoring Frustrations

[CapnChkn]

Hankdog, what kind of hive tool?  I don't think you'll want to kill him.

[hankdog1]

It's okay I promise to put some electrical tape on it to give it some bounce lol.   :-D

Ya know another funny thing I did notice and I was kinda fuming about everything else is the package I helped him install looked really weak.  To me it looked like they had gotten into some kind of pestiside.  Finally when I have gotten down to a smolder on the subject I remembered he moved the hive without asking me how to do it.  Have a feeling that may have been the cause. 

[Jim134]

I remembered he moved the hive without asking me how to do it.  Have a feeling that may have been the cause.  

Hankdog

:fishhit:

Hope your have a good time  :-D


   BEE HAPPY Jim 134 :)

[hankdog1]

Jim it's more like this  :deadhorse:

Of course it makes me feel like this   :soapbox:

In the end all i see is another beehaver at best.  Get the idea the biggest problem is he is scared to death of them. 

[Jim134]

In the end all i see is another beehaver at best.  Get the idea the biggest problem is he is scared to death of them. 

:lau: :lau: :lau:


    BEE HAPPY Jim 134 :)

[BjornBee]

Mentoring should not be about demanding, expecting full compliance, or any other defined idea.

It is about giving your experience and knowledge unconditionally, and assisting in a far less manner than suggesting "Do it my way, or I'm not going to help". Of course some guy is going to value what his grandfather says. I bet you would expect that same respect when you have grandchildren.

When things go wrong, point out what the mistake was. Yes, it's frustrating knowing others are making a mistake and watching them do it. But it is no different than seeing 10 different folks on a forum all give differing advice to a simple question.

I'd go easy on the guy and realize that he may be far worse off without you. Your there to guide him, not steer the boat. Your there to help him pick up the pieces, not laugh and denigrate.

Of course, it should also be assumed that for every person made out to be an idiot by not following sound advice,....there are probably at least two other beekeepers that probably should never be a mentor to start with.  ;)

[AliciaH]

I agree with you Bjorn, but it's hard not to take it personally sometimes.  I'm sure that's something that changes over time.  You want them to be successful, especially their first year.  Bigger problems will come up as the hive grows and they should at least be having fun at the beginning, not be frustrated.

I'm finding that mentoring is more about reading people than instructing them about their bees.  Some do really well with two or three different options and they pick which one they think will work best for them.  Then, you have those that you only give one option to because you know they haven't been studying, there's no common terminolgy, and you'll just confuse them anyway.

All you can do is your best and like Bjorn says, think about where they'd be if you weren't there. 

I try really hard not to "tell" folks what to do with their hives, but I'm sure I slip on occassion.  The only time I know for sure I get uppity is when I hear the words, "....but you TOLD me...." 

Uh, uh, don't go there. 

[hankdog1]

Just two your kidding me I've learned I will probably never do this again.  Just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  Bjorn there is a difference between respecting ones grandparents and jumping off the cliff if they tell you to. 

[Brian D. Bray]

Over the years I've found that the best mentoring comes from what I call hip pocket mentoring.  That is, keeping the beginner in your hip pocket while you tend to your and his bees.  That way the beginner sees what you're doing, asks questions about it, and not only gets answers but sees it in practice.  I'm currently mentoring 5 people, only one is willing to do the hip pocket routine (my younger brother), while the others check in by phone. 

You can guess who is the most successful of the 5.

Hankdog, you're not the mentor, Grandpa is, and he's teaching all his bad habits to his grandson.  I'd walk away or do the phone mentor, answer the questions and let him figure it out.

[AliciaH]

Still bums me out, though.  I'm the coordinator for the mentoring program in our club.  Rubs me the wrong way that mentoring left a bad enough taste in your mouth that you wouldn't want to do it again.  Not because you don't want to, because I get that part, but because your mentoree wasn't appreciative of your advice. 

But you'll still be here, though, right?  I keep trying like the dickens to get the apprentices on here.  I know some have checked it out, but they haven't registered.  Or maybe they have, they just haven't given a shout out, yet.

[Kathyp]

used to go through the same thing with the 4H group.  if you just walk away from the people who are not going to listen and spend your time with those who will, it's worth it.  if you try to help people who either want you to do it for them, or don't want to listen to what you tell them, you are wasting your time and asking for an ulcer  :-D

[AliciaH]

Or you start fostering the desire to start another batch of mead.....  :-D

[Brian D. Bray]

One of the beekeepers I'm mentoring called me in a panic today.  Seems bees were into the extra equipment he had stored on a lowboy trailer in his equipment shed.  The euipment still had some crystalized honey in the combs from last years deadout.

On arrival I could tell he had a swarm take up residence in his extra euipment, they were coming and going at a leisurely pace verses the hectic free-for-all that robbing entails. 

I showed him how to clean the frames of propolis and burr combs as well as reducing the hive from 6 boxes to 2 plus bottom and top.   Explained about not jarring hive/frames/bees when working them, the correct way to use a hive tool for various jobs while inspecting a hive, etc.  He was the 1st to notice the queen.  She was running around like a greyhound at a  race track, so I explained he had a secondary swarm with a virgin queen, and a virgin queens actions verses a laying queens actions. 

When I left we had consolidated the bees onto the frames they were either occupying or were working (that's why 2 boxes) and had laid out a plan for him to move his hive from the shed to the yard.

Having a student who will listen, ask questions, and do as instructed is the best kind of student.  I have 3 such out of the 5 people I'm currently mentoring.  The other 2 have a tendency to accept other people's bad advice and then keep the "but so-and-so said....' diatribe going.  It does making mentoring a tad bit harder than it needs to be under those circumstances.