The Night Light

Started by iddee, March 01, 2012, 09:44:51 PM

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iddee

March 01, 2012, 09:44:51 PM
The Night Light
An 80 year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, " George , everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
  George replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! The light goes off. Wow , that's incredible, the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls George 's wife. " Ethel ," he says, " George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?"

"Oh, sweet Jesus !' exclaimed his wife.   "He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

AllenF

#1
March 01, 2012, 09:56:04 PM
 :lau:

hardwood

#2
March 01, 2012, 10:27:21 PM
 :lau: :lau: :lau:
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907

Intheswamp

#3
March 01, 2012, 11:34:15 PM
 :lau:
www.beeweather.com 
American blood spilled to protect the freedom and peace of people all over the world.  320,000 USA casualties in WWI, 1,076,000 USA casualties in WWII, 128,000 USA casualties in the Korean War, 211,000 casualties in the Vietnam "conflict", 57,000 USA casualties in "War on Terror".  Benghazi, Libya, 13 USA casualties. These figures don't include 70,000 MIA.  But, the leaders of one political party of the United States of America continue to make the statement..."What difference does it make?".

"We can't expect the American People to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving them small doses of Socialism, until they awaken one day to find that they have Communism."..."The press is our chief ideological weapon." - Nikita Khrushchev

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours." - Yogi Berra

Larry Bees

#4
March 02, 2012, 01:23:32 PM
 :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau: :lau:

I really liked that one!!!  Larry

yockey5

#5
March 02, 2012, 01:26:57 PM
Nasty! :needhelp:

Ranch84

#6
March 02, 2012, 08:59:37 PM
That was good  :lau:
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