OH HELL ! ... Let's Offend Everybody !

Started by iddee, September 07, 2014, 07:24:20 PM

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iddee

September 07, 2014, 07:24:20 PM
Q.  What's the Cuban National Anthem? 
A.     Row, Row, Row Your Boat. 

Q.   Where does an Irish family go on vacation ? 
A.     To a different bar. 

Q.   What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?   
A.       Sum Ting Wong .

Q.   What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? 
A.    A speech impediment. 

Q.   Why aren't there any Afro-Americans on Star Trek?   
A .     Because they're not going to work in the future either. 

Q.   Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on
    Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?   
A.       Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. 

Q.   What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A.      The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe. 

Q   How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word? 
A.     Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!' 

Q.   What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?   
A.      A northern fairytale begins, ....'Once upon a time...' 
     A southern fairytale begins,... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this bleep.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? 
  A.   Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States
     
Oh, be quiet....just pass it on!
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

divemaster1963

#1
September 07, 2014, 08:14:07 PM
Aw iddee your head straight to some where very very warm. She you in south Florida. ;)

John

Switchback

#2
September 07, 2014, 09:57:45 PM
PC your not!! :th_thumbsupup:
"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking." J. C. Watts

BeeMaster2

#3
September 07, 2014, 11:26:39 PM
 :lau:
Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.
Ben Franklin

tefer2

#4
September 08, 2014, 09:27:37 AM
 :lau:

GSF

#5
September 08, 2014, 09:52:19 PM
 :-D
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you - then you know your nation is doomed.

Lone

#6
September 09, 2014, 08:35:36 AM
You forgot to offend the Aussies.  We feel quite left out.  And offended    :-x

Aussies

iddee

#7
September 09, 2014, 09:30:52 AM
Lone, maybe you Aussies are looking at it upside down and just can't see it.    :evil:   :-D
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

beemaster

#8
September 09, 2014, 04:05:18 PM
I asked an Aussie here once if he "Drove on the RIGHT side of the road?" He got mad and said "No... I drive on the WRONG side, what'ja bloody think!?"
NJBeemaster my YOUTUBE Video Collection

Please enjoy the forum, and if it has helped you in any way, we hope that a small donation can be made to support our FULLY member supported forum. You will never see advertisements here, and that is because of the generous members who have made our forum possible. We are in our second decade as a beekeeping forum and all thanks to member support. At the top right of every page is a donations link. Please help if you can.

Geoff

#9
September 09, 2014, 08:29:52 PM
         Lone you should know better, you give Iddee 2.5 centimetres he'll take a kilometre ( Sorry Iddee, 0.62137 of a mile). By the way you give him a yellow bucket and a stick he becomes the Pied Piper of the bee kingdom.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

iddee

#10
September 09, 2014, 10:35:35 PM
5/8 is a usable round off, Geoff. Been using it for years.

Yeah, my leash has always been elastic.  :angel:   :angel:
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Lone

#11
September 12, 2014, 12:47:25 PM
QuoteLone, maybe you Aussies are looking at it upside down and just can't see it.    evil   grin

Now we are really offended..

QuoteI asked an Aussie here once if he "Drove on the RIGHT side of the road?" He got mad and said "No... I drive on the WRONG side, what'ja bloody think!?"

Of COURSE left is right!

QuoteLone you should know better, you give Iddee 2.5 centimetres he'll take a kilometre ( Sorry Iddee, 0.62137 of a mile). By the way you give him a yellow bucket and a stick he becomes the Pied Piper of the bee kingdom.

It's OK, inches are better when you get older as millimeters are too small to see.
He probably offended the bees too for them to be chasing him like that.

QuoteYeah, my leash has always been elastic.  angel   angel

Just so long as you keep your straight..err..bee jacket on..

Lone

jayj200

#12
September 13, 2014, 11:17:50 AM
where is the Pig Blood?

iddee

#13
September 13, 2014, 12:43:33 PM
Jayj, how about................

There will never be a muslim in the US government. Waaaaaay too much pork being passed out.
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

beemaster

#14
September 17, 2014, 04:40:19 PM
Not getting all Sci-ency here, but our Solar System (try to find the name of our solar system - good luck) to repeat, our solar system is UPSIDE DOWN relative to the Milky Way Galaxy, so in Truth, the South Pole is actually the TOP of the world - which makes us folks in the Northern Hemisphere the ones holding on for dear life or fall from the planet cause of being upside down.

I know, Beemaster could take the Bzzzz off a bee. Didn't mean to get all educational and stuff :)
NJBeemaster my YOUTUBE Video Collection

Please enjoy the forum, and if it has helped you in any way, we hope that a small donation can be made to support our FULLY member supported forum. You will never see advertisements here, and that is because of the generous members who have made our forum possible. We are in our second decade as a beekeeping forum and all thanks to member support. At the top right of every page is a donations link. Please help if you can.

Lone

#15
September 18, 2014, 12:17:32 AM
To also be technical in regards to space matters, WHEN aren't there Afro-Americans on Star Trek?  Every series has at least one and often a whole race of Afro-American Aliens.

Lone Space Cadet.

GSF

#16
September 18, 2014, 06:52:47 AM
There's even black Vulcans on Star Trek.
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you - then you know your nation is doomed.

beemaster

#17
September 19, 2014, 07:55:19 PM
Okay Lone - without searching, here are the ones I come up with:

Original Star Trek had Uhura (okay had to look up spelling but found out her character's first name was Nyota. She was the first black woman in a major role and was asked by Martin Luther King jr. to stay in the show after she felt like quitting.

Next Generation had Geordi La Forge - LaVar Burton. Helms officer with the visor.

Star Trek Voyage had Tovak (Vulcan/human half breed) BTW my favorite Star Trek series.

Deep Space 9 - had Captain Cisco, his son and about 1/3rd the cast

Enterprise had Ensign Travis - didn't watch this series yet, but will.

Hows that :D


NJBeemaster my YOUTUBE Video Collection

Please enjoy the forum, and if it has helped you in any way, we hope that a small donation can be made to support our FULLY member supported forum. You will never see advertisements here, and that is because of the generous members who have made our forum possible. We are in our second decade as a beekeeping forum and all thanks to member support. At the top right of every page is a donations link. Please help if you can.

AllenF

#18
September 19, 2014, 10:35:09 PM
I know he is a Klingon, but what about Worf?   Started off on TNG and worked up to DS9.   

Lone

#19
September 22, 2014, 09:45:12 AM
You have a good memory, Beemaster - we should nickname you Google.  I just thought of Whoopi Goldberg who was that odd counsellor type alien. 

Worf was the obvious Klingon, but there were other Klingons also.

Now I am feeling offended again because I can't think of any aussies on Star Trek...

Lone (No I am not a trekki!)
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