Just in case you need a chuckle today, this should help.

[BeeMaster2]

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a commercial aircraft,
but only a high school diploma to repair one ~~ that's reassuring to those who fly routinely!

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form called a 'gripe sheet', which notifies mechanics about problems with the aircraft. Mechanics resolve the problems, document their actions on the form ~~ pilots then review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some "actual" maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance personnel.

(By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never ~~ ever ~~ had an accident.)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot duplicate problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing following brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last ~~

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like
A midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

[GSF]

 :-D

[iddee]

Last week ah cukdn't even spel mech-a-nic. Dis week ah is one.

[Switchback]

 :th_thumbsupup:

[tefer2]

 :-D