Eats shoots

[beecanbee]

A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food!"

The panda yells back, "Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"

The bartender opened his dictionary to `panda`, ? "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."

[BeeMaster2]

 

[Michael Bush]

>Eats shoots and leaves.

Punctuation can change everything. "Eats, shoots, and leaves."

"Let's eat Grandma"
"Let's eat, Grandma"

Punctuation can save lives...

[BeeMaster2]

 

[Dallasbeek]

Somebody based a book on that and titled it eats shoots and runs. 

[Eric Bosworth]

Somebody based a book on that and titled it eats shoots and runs.

No... The title is Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation



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[Dallasbeek]

You're right.  My sister-in-law gave me a copy in paperback, so I should have gotten it right.  Duh.

[Eric Bosworth]

You're right.  My sister-in-law gave me a copy in paperback, so I should have gotten it right.  Duh.

My wife was reading something about some pesticide that said something about being harmful to cats some died but most got better after 1 to 5 days. I said huh? You mean it can bring cats back from the dead? She said apparently. Then she started talking about the book Eats Shoots and Leaves. Obviously whoever wrote the article she was reading never read Eats Shoots and Leaves.

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[Michael Bush]

>My wife was reading something about some pesticide that said something about being harmful to cats some died but most got better after 1 to 5 days.

Ambiguity can be so entertaining...

[jalentour]

I was pretty sure the story was fake news when the bartender pulled out a dictionary.

[Dallasbeek]

I was pretty sure the story was fake news when the bartender pulled out a dictionary.

You were okay with the part about a panda going into a bar, huh?  Ooookay.

[Eric Bosworth]

Along the same lines as eating shoots and leaves, is all purpose baking flour always in bloom? Why feed bees sugar when we can feed flour? When my wife is baking she often asks me to get the flour. I usually respond with do you want roses or carnations?

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[iddee]

Hey, Eric, at least she's baking. Do you ask her for the spelling when she says she's going out to get ......."bread /// bred"?

[Eric Bosworth]

Hey, Eric, at least she's baking. Do you ask her for the spelling when she says she's going out to get ......."bread /// bred"?

Hummm... I'll never let her go out to get bread again for fear she spelled it wrong...

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