It's National Spouses Day

[Michael Bush]

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, ?You know, I?ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?? ?Why?? ?Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.?

"People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman." ? Erma Bombeck

Wife: "Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"
Husband: "How can I? I don't even know her."

At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

My wife keeps telling everyone that she can read their minds, but she never can. She?s telepathetic.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

"The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it." ? Ann Bancroft