PUNS and Spoonerisms

[JP]

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?











He's all right now. :-D :-P :-P :-D

[Jerrymac]

Know how to keep an idiot in suspense?




Tell you later.

[Brian D. Bray]

Know how to keep an idiot in suspense?

Tell you later.

True story department:
I told that one too my wife years ago, only then it was a pollock instead of an idiot.  Her responce--I don't want to wait until tommorrow, I want to know now.  I can still shift her mind into neutral by telling her something is like a pollock joke.


Do you know what you call a circle moving through the water?

A swiming hole!

[Cindi]

 :-D :-D :) :) :), laughing harder!!!  Keep these funneeeeeeee words coming on!!!  Cindi

[Jerrymac]

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

You know. No matter how much you cut off, there is always some left.

[Burl]

What does a person who studies geometry call a dead parrot ??






                     A " polly-gone " .                           ---Burl---

[Cindi]

 :) :) :)Cindi

[Burl]

Hey Cindi ,  Have you ever bought PIRATE CORN before ??
                Do you know how much it costs ??




      It's a "buck an ear" .                                      ---Burl---

[JP]

What do you call cheese that's not yours?










Nacho cheese!  :-P

[buzzbee]

Wanna frustrate an idiot?
Put him in a round room and tell him to stand in the corner! :)

[Brian D. Bray]

So, in today's PC world Pollocks have become idiots?  Maybe we should be using the word Politician instead.

What do you call a long thin handled ladle?

A Skinny dipper.

[buzzbee]

I wasn't being PC instead of Pollock,didn't even cross my mind really,used that word instead of moron.'
However politician is a good description of either word. :)

[Jerrymac]

Down here it was Aggie jokes, not Pollock. Or we picked on Oklahoma.

Know why there is so much wind in West Texas?




Cause Oklahoma sucks.

[Mklangelo]

So, in today's PC world Pollocks have become idiots?  Maybe we should be using the word Politician instead.

What do you call a long thin handled ladle?

A Skinny dipper.

do you mean Polish as in Polocks?  I wonder if any of these idiots knew that some of the greatest mathematicians in the world are Polish? 

[buzzbee]

Okay guys,lets get back to puns and spoonerisms.Lets keep this topic fun!! :)
Burl, You're turn!!

[Cindi]

 :) :) :)Cindi

[Burl]

Ah yes ,  pure bliss of being able to express one's silliness .  I am feeling a bit spoonerish ,  anyone else perhaps ?
   I went to get my shu flot the other day .  The nurse wiped my arm with a sotten cwab and isorubble proping alcohol .  Then she stuck me with a hypodeemic nurdle .  Man it hurt !  But , I'm beeling much fetter now .

                                                  ---Burl---

[Burl]

Starkle , starkle little twink .   What you are I like to think .   I'm not so dumb as some thinkle peep I am .                                    ---Burl---

[Brian D. Bray]

So, in today's PC world Pollocks have become idiots?  Maybe we should be using the word Politician instead.

What do you call a long thin handled ladle?

A Skinny dipper.

do you mean Polish as in Polocks?  I wonder if any of these idiots knew that some of the greatest mathematicians in the world are Polish? 

Have you ever tried using a calculator programed with reverse polish logic?  You have to be a true mathematican to under stand how to work it.

[Burl]

The bald man looked wistfully at his comb and said :

                                  "  We'll never part ."

                                                                        ---Burl---